Posts

'Life is a Pigsty' and I am the reason why....

18 August 2008 I always seem to ruin people's lives. I'm the little dark cloud that ruins their day. Even when I try to be positive--I fail. I'm close to losing all hope. I feel like giving up on everything I've wanted for so long. I'm sick of the pain that comes with everything. Almost every promise made with me has been broken. When I promise someone something...I keep it. Even though, I can be very weak at times and want to break it.

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band...plus Maria and Allia

Oh-blahh-di...Oh-blah-dah....

Random Pictures of MEEEEEE...

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Louise Brooks Drawing...

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I drew this August 19th 2008.

The need to hold my tongue...

Late night thoughts--

----My thoughts that I wrote before I fell asleep last night---- Will I ever be happy? Do I deserve to be happy? I just don't know anymore. I've lost myself again. I don't feel myself when I'm here. No one will ever understand nor do they care. I'm back in that scary place again. Who can I go to? I have a strong faith that God can help me, but I feel he's given up on me. I just let him down too much...too often. I just wish I could be with the one I want to be with. I wish they would want me back. Oh well...I miss Fergus...end of story. :-( (But, I wonder if he feels the same...)